Psychology has recently explored the idea of “growth mindset,” as presented by Carol Dweck in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. The essential premise revolves around an individual’s perception of their own gifts and talents. The belief that our gifts and talents are innate and somewhat fixed leads to lower achievement. While the belief that gifts and talents can be developed through practice, input from others, and effective strategies leads to greater achievement, research suggests a flexible mindset leads to putting more energy into learning versus a focus on appearing intelligent.
Another popular topic in psychology is the exploration of shame and how it impacts individuals. Brene Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging”. She observes that “if you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment”. She also suggests that shame resilience involves connecting with your authentic self and fostering meaningful relationships with others. If you can be vulnerable enough to face your shame, “vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”
One final psychology tidbit: neuroscience points to a small part of our brain called the pregenual anterior cingulate cortex as key to processing shame. This area of the brain is situated up and behind the right ear. We all have shame, and God has designated a place in our brains to deal with that reality. (You are welcome to suggest that you don’t deal with shame, but you should know that in the mental health field we diagnose those people as psychopaths.)
People who resist acknowledging and processing shame are often referred to as narcissistic. Unfortunately, the church has recently faced difficult press about the role of narcissistic leaders in creating cultures of spiritual abuse. This is the problematic side effect of a desire to appear right, holy, or in control. We sometimes exchange the growth mindset embedded in the theology of progressive sanctification for the fixed mindset of “holy appearance”.
Christianity stands alone in prescribing a process for addressing our shame through transformational growth. Our theological label for this concept is repentance. In Greek, the concept of repentance is a change of mind for the better, abhorring one’s own past sins (growth mindset). In Hebrew, repentance speaks to the idea of authentically turning to be comforted and restored to a peaceful relationship with God (shame resilience). From the beginning of the story, God displays his desire for an unbroken relationship. He established order in the universe, and when his ways are not followed, chaos, confusion, abuse, pain, and death are the outcomes. But he took the path of reconciliation. That path is Jesus Christ. His journey to the cross and resurrection from the dead reveal an uncomfortable truth: my actions have consequences. However, I can face the “swampland of my soul” by walking through the swamp to Jesus. I can say with David in Psalm 139:23–24:
Search me, God, and know my heart.
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me.
and lead me in the way everlasting.
I can allow my creator to see me authentically. In laying down my defensive and false sense of “self”, I learn that with Him I am safe, secure, loved, wanted, and good enough. He rewrites my definitions of success and purpose to reveal my eternal value and significance. With generosity, he offers a new way of seeing and being that I can lean into for the sake of relationship with Him and others.
In this process, my shame becomes my healing. My vulnerability and willingness to be known result in vibrant and creative new life. This is the birthplace of change and innovation. From here, the gifts and talents He has given me begin to grow for the benefit of those around me.